life loves the liver of it.
who knows what will turn up on this blog.
be ready for mostly useless ramblings from a self-important wannabe philosopher
blog
Monday, February 05, 2007
breaking up, spreading love, and other hippy dippy crap
i feel like my last blog was really gooey and mushy and for that i apologize. with that in mind... this will most likely be another love fest. sorry.
for some reason, maybe it is the season (you know valentine's day being around the corner and all) all i can think about is love. i connect everything to it. it is probibly because i am about to leave boone and start a new chapter in my life, leaving behind some people who i truely charish.
the odd thing about all this love that i have been feeling lately, is that i lost love for the one i supposedly felt the most for. i broke up with my boyfriend (of about four years off and on) this weekend.
it made me really wonder if i just don't have the capacity to love people... friends, enemies, strangers... while i love one single person in a romantic way. now i'm not proposing that i become a swinger or anything, but how do you fully devote yourself to one person while attempting to be accessable to everyone else at the same time?
at some point someone will be neglected and why should i force all of my love and devotion on one person when i can spread it around and provide an ear, a shoulder, or a friend for a bunch of people. i'm sure there has to be a balance but i don't want it right now. there are too many people i still need to learn from for me to be limiting my relationships.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
the tara reid of boone, only trashier
due to the recent complaints from my good buddy doc, i have decided to start a new blog.
so lately i have been going out... a lot. several of my closest comrades have noticed the recent development and the only explaination i have for it is that i just remembered how much i love people. all different kinds of people. we have so much to learn from each other. individuals are so distinctly complicated and formed by so many years of experiences (or lack of experiences). it is so strange which life experiences affect which people.
pain makes some people compassionate and emotional, while it makes others hardened and closed off.
some are devestated by minor tragedy and others are flurish despite lives that are filled with hardships.
i think what i love about people is the honesty that we can't hide. the honesty that has nothing to do with what we
try to communicate to others.
i love the honesty that is
behind the words that we say to eachother, the puzzle pieces to our hearts that randomly escape to those who are paying enough attention. a little pain here, a little pride there, a sprinkling of insecurities on top.
the things that you learn about people when you
litsen and
care about them are the most honest things that exist in a world that focuses on shrouding the raw, ugly, painful, and imperfect.
but it's the mess in people that makes them so beautiful.
it's the bond that should tie us all together: that we are all as big of a mess as the next person.
i love your mess and i love the process of figuring out your mess. i love it when you give me pieces of your pain, your life, your heart.
